What position i'm at right now?
How i use my heart to see things now?
Do i love you? Do i love him?
How come i'm feeling that the history is repeating..?
Same heart crashed.
I don't really love you when i'm with you.
Honestly, it's because you appear at the correct timing, then, you din't bother about me. I felt pain, cuz i thought i choose the wrong one. After some time, your attitude changed. Better! I'm willing to do a lot of things because of you. Slowly, i really fall in love with you. I could be with you at home whole day long, never complain of boredom, because seeing you would fill my day with joy.
Happy time flies. We started to lack out of topic. Communication breaks down. When you talk, i don't understand, when i talk, you don't bother. It has been some time where this situation continue. You accompanied me through this advanced diploma's life. Everyday after class, a MUST action is to wait you to have dinner. Hug you. Kiss you. I miss the time. Everyday seemed filled for me. But i hate the time we argued, we quarreled. Really wasted a lot of tears and time quarreling.. If i have a time machine, i would never start the quarrel.
Honestly, you're the first guy who made me cried for like few hundreds of times. You're also the first guy who ask for break up every time. You're the first one who i will always follow your wish. You're the first one who i will always try to entertain you. You're the first one who i cook dishes for you. You're the first one who i never even dare to angry of you overnight.
Although we started in an unexpected way, but, You're always the first one of many things.
Now, what is the condition?
You asked me not to drag you. I wanted to forget about you TOO! I don't wanna remember you as my "bi".. I THOUGHT i've get rid of our memory after being together with him. Din't expect there's still a lot of things popped out when i'm writing this. Yesterday, i told you to let go. I don't wanna drag you, don't wanna waste your time. I was wrong. Cuz i thought i won't be looking back anymore. Now, when i'm thinking, i see back the history.
Just a simple words from you. It really killed my heart. I was stunned when i saw that. I finally understand about your feelings. If this is your purpose of writing so, Congratz, you've succeed. You really did hurt me before you go. I never know what you do will still have impact on me. Still recalling our talk few days back. Its really relax. As what i recall, we have never had such conversation when we date. NEVER! I love the feeling, if we are still together, it would be great. In my heart, i kept thinking about being back together, but i'll never take action. I guess you noe me, i'm this kind of person. Pathetic to be one.
I see that you said your parents like her.
Gratz too. Hope everything will end well for you and her. Maybe, what i said yesterday is really true. Once pain is better than long dragging pain. I'll let go. Memory will stay. Just for me to remember. Bye my dear. Really do take care and good luck for your future undertakings. You would be one rich man! But don't forget of having such ex.
=heart ends=
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