找男朋友，要找一个爱自己，疼自己，对自己好的……

我让他走了。

对我好的人，一个一个地走了……

留下的是对我不好，一直重复着我不喜欢的事……

我不玩了！

我要单身！

I've take a step in front ytd and started to argue with him. Who noes he din bother much on me. Reason for argument is ridiculous, but he seemed tahan me very very much.

Ytd watch a movie, Daniel would be you and Louis would be him. He's nice, humorous, fun, but playful until the other half cant feel like secureness. You are stable, loyal, the one who never would bully me again, but you're bored. For husband, Daniel is the ideal one, for lover, maybe he could be the one.

Someone kept ask me who would i choose after that movie. Well, i personally don't really quite like Daniel, I like guy who is fun. She told me, i'm not mature at all, what i could see is only things in front of me, every girl want to have husband like Daniel type. Yeah, i agreed with her actually. Thats why when i go home, i think until i dulan, and of cos sth trigger my temper and i told him i couldn't stand with him anymore. After talking with him, i don't dare to sleep. I scare when i wake up the next morning, i would find myself forget bout everything and lose my hot temper. I stayed up until 4. And not forgetting, i'm listening to the same song, again and again. "丁当——你为什么说谎。" I love this song a lot! Meaningful, and it helps to remind me about all unhappy stuff, dumb =(

But i couldnt stand, til i fall asleep. When i wake up this morning, i forgotten the pain he caused, i forgotten the result of ytd, which is to tell him i wanna have a rest. I forgot everything, what i noe is, i'm still in the dilemma. I'm lucky that every bf of mine is treating me extraordinary good. You, the worst, now is becoming better too. i could see that my dear.. wanted to msg u that i've made a try ytd, but, when i think dou i failed to become rock hearted, i dun even wanna talk about that. =( i dun like being in between. i wanna settle fast fast fast!! >< T.T useless me!!

You always strike through my mind when i think about future and marriage. Why?! I also don't know. Maybe you just gave me a secured feeling??

"Can you please make clear your direction and make me know how to continue mine."

This is what you always asked. Always, and normally, i couldn't answer.

Help me to feel, whether do I still love you?

On the other hand, if i really really love him, I would have already decide to leave you, stop everything with you. But now instead, i din't. It goes the same the other way round. I just need accompaniment?! WTF!!

I'm looking for chances to stop everything. A chance that is suitable for me to say it out loud. I think, it would be hard to get back to you. I want everything to start from friend, even with him.

"I Love You" is easy to say, but its not easy to prove. I've said this thousand times to tell myself I really do love. Its a word to make myself believe too.

I miss you, for the days we have been through. I miss you, for the days we first met. But a strong love seemed lacking and fading away between us? Can you feel that?

When i look at him, and when he asked do i love, i think really hard, but every time, my answer was a lie. If don't love, we cant even continue to walk.

I envy my friend that just got married. I envy my friend that can couple for many many years, their love is so strong. But i also have friend that do not know how to treasure their other half, just like you and I did. I felt so sorry for them.

Where are we now? I really want to tell you everything and discuss with you face to face.. But i just found myself lack of words when i see you.. =( Can anyone help me to sort it out? Those who understand me, not much. Maybe, you are the one?

I had a clear mind today. I've decide to do what i should do 2 months back.

Would you help me?

After awhile, only i realized what you said was so true. I just need someone to be by my side every time i need one. He couldn't give me now. So, i din't very fond of him anymore.

But same to you. The only different is she couldn't defeat my rock heart but you did shake me a bit. I thought you were a good accompaniment, but end up, you sucks! LOL.. still i never want to leave you. You are such a kid for me, every of your move, is just so.. kiddy.. Sometimes i even need to take responsibility of a big sister to take care of you.

There are so much so much, ALOT memorable memory of us.. But it just meant to keep that behind. Lets start our new chapter.. =)

hmm~~ anything wrong?

He's got his life. His work. His gf.

What about you? just stop thinking rubbish and get back to YOUR life.. Life you have chosen..

YOU can make it.. Believe yourself darling... I love you~~

Tired of all these!!

Seemed like misunderstanding is looking for us now..

Argument is on its way to us too..

How could it be like that?

I just want a peace and stable relationship!!!

Is that so hard to find someone who really understand you??