no chinese... so write in english..
today, whole day oso weird weird.. my mood weird, weather weird, ppl around oso weird..
at night no ppl are free for me.. i have to be alone again.. d feeling is not reli good..
after persuaded by someone, decide to date back my 'old fren' and meet up to hav dinner..
b4 sending msg of request, my heart beats were fast, extremely fast.. v have never met since.. vry vry long time ago, and d last time v met up, v've never talk to each other, jus lik enemy.. dats y i was worrying.. dun dare to send out d msg.. think think think and think for vry long.. at last, i jus send it out for trying purposes, and heart was hoping dat she would say dat she's not free tonight.. but she'd replied, n saying dat she can accompany me for dinner.. and now, i was thinking dat whether should i go?? fainted.. i totally duno wat i wan.. my heart was afraid to see her actually, since v've never talk to each other for so long.. duno how to face the feeling..
and the night finally arises, i'm nervous.. wanted to tell her i dun wanna go edi, but she told me she's ready.. hmm, have to go out anyway..
while driving, i kept thinking, but my mind was blank, weird huh.. d road to her hse, road dat i've long time missed.. strange.. as if i duno dat place.. reached her hse, she got up.. i... speechless, but however spoken sth.. dat was 'HELLO'.. FAINTED!!! never noe i'll be so shy in front of her.. n i cant imagine dat i said hello to her...!!! in d car, lik nth to say, my mind thinks again.. n she told me another fren oso wanna join, and i agreed??
whole night vry sien there.. both of them talking happily n suddenly i felt left out.. although they are sharing hot news of theirs, but i jus.. cant get into it.. whole nite, silence cover me.. they talk and i think..
although they were there, but i felt lonely.. mayb, i changed.. mayb old man's life style suits me more.. or mayb, my life grows w/out color? hahahahahaha.. felt dat their life is getting far far far away from me n i could never go into it.. feeling i'm a weirdo wit them.. whole nite heart beaten up fast.. til i cant breath either.. i shouldnt think dat way i guess, and v were reli good fren at d past, regretted never join her life.. and now being someone else outside her life..
not happy.........
