jus had a quarreling session.. i WAS not happy, n WAS sad..
but now.. out of nth, i realised sth..
if when u r not in good mood, everything inside ur brain ll be bad things oso, try not to listen or look at pessimistic things anymore, it will make u feel worse.. n cry for nth.. cry cant settle anything, jus a medium to vent ur problems, somehow, it make things got worse.. dats wat i alwiz experienced..
had a movie.. although its not really a nice movie, bt it does really cheer me up alot.. i dun think about those unhappy things anymore.. jus wan my life to be simple n happy.. somehow wished myself is still d small kid.. w/out stress w/out proper thinking.. wat kids noe is jus PLAY.. yu-hoo~ i jus trying to get back dat life.. take everything dat ll fall on me.. take everything God wants me to experienced.. i'll more den willing to accept all these.. no human are perfect, n no one borned with zero-mistake.. but if u urself dun make things complicated, dat problems wont be complicated.. oni humans make their life so difficult~
wanna to change myself.. think less, do more; speaks less, do more.. wahaha.. abit abnormal about my blog, as i jus wanna dumped all my sadness, my temper, all down to the drain!!!
2009年9月20日 星期日
2009年9月18日 星期五
Unsecure
a lil too sensitive?
a lil too naive?
a lil too pessimistic?
YA.. i guess i am..
i'm feeling so unsecured right now!! on everything i did n i gonna do..
everytime i found out sth bout u... especially sth dat for me - sensitive, i couldn't stop thinking..
i do not hope i did dat too.. i'm really controlling well for d past few months.. i think, i couldn't manage my feelings, my mood, my temper, n everything in my life..
Damn tired of living those life.. i'm longing to have some improvement.. everytime i hope, i wont get it.. HAHA.. God is really getting me wrong~ mayb its nt His planning, its jus bcos of my dumbness..
You would NEVER noe how unsecure n how fears cover my heart~ i'm worrying for every sec n min. u got a better choice, i do not have any~ YA, i'm weak, i'm noodle~ i dun wan to rely on ANYone ANYmore.. damn hesitate to do so~ never noe how much i need someone.. until i feel d loneliness myself.. i standing up alone.. not dependent on anyone.. i hav to learn even if i duno~
process of learning is tough is hard.. i'll overcome it.. dun worry.. no matter wat, i gonna grow up~
a lil too naive?
a lil too pessimistic?
YA.. i guess i am..
i'm feeling so unsecured right now!! on everything i did n i gonna do..
everytime i found out sth bout u... especially sth dat for me - sensitive, i couldn't stop thinking..
i do not hope i did dat too.. i'm really controlling well for d past few months.. i think, i couldn't manage my feelings, my mood, my temper, n everything in my life..
Damn tired of living those life.. i'm longing to have some improvement.. everytime i hope, i wont get it.. HAHA.. God is really getting me wrong~ mayb its nt His planning, its jus bcos of my dumbness..
You would NEVER noe how unsecure n how fears cover my heart~ i'm worrying for every sec n min. u got a better choice, i do not have any~ YA, i'm weak, i'm noodle~ i dun wan to rely on ANYone ANYmore.. damn hesitate to do so~ never noe how much i need someone.. until i feel d loneliness myself.. i standing up alone.. not dependent on anyone.. i hav to learn even if i duno~
process of learning is tough is hard.. i'll overcome it.. dun worry.. no matter wat, i gonna grow up~
2009年8月27日 星期四
lost in d life
i should be rushing to finish my syllabus now.. bt i duno where d feeling comes, which urges me to BLOG...
have been quite busy lately.. after finishing those lengthy and stressful assignment, i've to start studying.. boring skul life...
a lil nervous to sit for my ADV DIP 1st ever final exam.. cos, inside my huge brain, there's jus a tiny part which contains those academic materials (sad huh?) furthermore, i duno wats wrong with me tis very 1st sem of adv dip, i failed my paper.. 1st time in my life failed important paper... i dun lik tis 1st time, n i'll rmb it til i die.. i wont allow me to fail anymore, bt honestly inside my heart, there's actually a thorn, stop me from going and moving on.. i'm afraid of it.. no confidence over it.. i cant be brave to overcome it, no supports..
i wanted to find sth which can help me to stand up.. tough and straight.. i couldn't find any~
i felt alone.. everyday wake up not knowingly wat to do.. i'm jus following my planned schedule.. everyday travel to and from coll.. not knowing the purposes and aims..
i too felt lost...
YA!! i agree wit u.. i was d one where others will come for me to ask me on d subject.. but now, everything is jus turning UP-SIDE-DOWN.. i became the one who ask for others' help.. seek for help... i dun lik to be d weakest one.. i wanna to b d toughest..
i was once crying while i travel back from coll.. not knowing d reason for crying.. i jus can feel my heart is overloading wit problems.. i jus wanna to find a place to hide myself n cry out loud. The place which i could find - my room.. i spent most of my time in my room alone.. i felt comfortable when i'm alone.. do not need to pretend and could do watever things i lik.. dats wat call free...
tis sem i've my shopping session once a week.. every week must hav atleast sth in my bag.. duno d problem i'm facing, jus wanted to buy myself sth to cheer me up, bt NOT AT ALL.. I'M NOT HAPPY AT ALL...
where goes my HAPPINESS? where goes my FREEDOM?? where goes my COURAGE?? where goes my TOUGHNESS?? where goes CLARICE YAP SHIN YHEE??
have been quite busy lately.. after finishing those lengthy and stressful assignment, i've to start studying.. boring skul life...
a lil nervous to sit for my ADV DIP 1st ever final exam.. cos, inside my huge brain, there's jus a tiny part which contains those academic materials (sad huh?) furthermore, i duno wats wrong with me tis very 1st sem of adv dip, i failed my paper.. 1st time in my life failed important paper... i dun lik tis 1st time, n i'll rmb it til i die.. i wont allow me to fail anymore, bt honestly inside my heart, there's actually a thorn, stop me from going and moving on.. i'm afraid of it.. no confidence over it.. i cant be brave to overcome it, no supports..
i wanted to find sth which can help me to stand up.. tough and straight.. i couldn't find any~
i felt alone.. everyday wake up not knowingly wat to do.. i'm jus following my planned schedule.. everyday travel to and from coll.. not knowing the purposes and aims..
i too felt lost...
YA!! i agree wit u.. i was d one where others will come for me to ask me on d subject.. but now, everything is jus turning UP-SIDE-DOWN.. i became the one who ask for others' help.. seek for help... i dun lik to be d weakest one.. i wanna to b d toughest..
i was once crying while i travel back from coll.. not knowing d reason for crying.. i jus can feel my heart is overloading wit problems.. i jus wanna to find a place to hide myself n cry out loud. The place which i could find - my room.. i spent most of my time in my room alone.. i felt comfortable when i'm alone.. do not need to pretend and could do watever things i lik.. dats wat call free...
tis sem i've my shopping session once a week.. every week must hav atleast sth in my bag.. duno d problem i'm facing, jus wanted to buy myself sth to cheer me up, bt NOT AT ALL.. I'M NOT HAPPY AT ALL...
where goes my HAPPINESS? where goes my FREEDOM?? where goes my COURAGE?? where goes my TOUGHNESS?? where goes CLARICE YAP SHIN YHEE??
2009年8月21日 星期五
sleepy blog
should i feel happy in tis 2 months? my brain told me i should be... and must be...
i'm not sure.. not sure bout u, me, and us..
i hate d suspecting and doubting feelings which i got from u and my heart..
i got alot of question marks inside my brain n heart.. cos..
i reli duno wat i wan.. i hope i could concentrate on things dat i've started.. bt, things were nv be so great to allow u to do dat.. haiz...
i'm not sure.. not sure bout u, me, and us..
i hate d suspecting and doubting feelings which i got from u and my heart..
i got alot of question marks inside my brain n heart.. cos..
i reli duno wat i wan.. i hope i could concentrate on things dat i've started.. bt, things were nv be so great to allow u to do dat.. haiz...
2009年8月14日 星期五
14/08/2009
where should i start my story??
lets start with the happy part.. today went out wit my super super frens..
vry vry happy at first... long time never talk for the whole day, laugh for the whole day..
college's life now is too dull for me.. no more laugher.. =(
today din planned to buy anything, jus go out accompany wei buy present for her RU.. den accidentally bought myself sth.. after buying, realised money i take out jus now was all gone.. omg.. dats d money which i planned to use for the whole week including petrol.. sad-nya.. y no one stop me when i buy things??? reli fainted...
after tired of walking, v got to stop at a shop which sells alot of soft toys.. stayed there for a vry long time.. bought sth for ourselves.
cow's key chains r mine n a tan.. d other 2 is for another 2 soh poh.. quite nice a d cow.. lik it.. haha..
AT NIGHT
all of us r reli exhausted.. tired.. sleepy+hungry.. fetch yuan back... den go kepong eat..
unfortunately, sth bad happened.. haiz.. today whole day duno y jus scare when driving.. or sitting cars.. dun lik d feeling.. tan got accident.. sienz liao lo.. haven eat den jiu sth lidat happened..where got mood o?? i'm reli sorry cos... dumped u all bhind... haiz.. bt, dat time reli alot cars.. cant stop.. reli guilty.. bt luckily, nt vry serious.. lidat oso fong sum abit.. now is reli exhausted.. tired.. hungry.. haiz... =(
lets start with the happy part.. today went out wit my super super frens..
vry vry happy at first... long time never talk for the whole day, laugh for the whole day..
college's life now is too dull for me.. no more laugher.. =(
today din planned to buy anything, jus go out accompany wei buy present for her RU.. den accidentally bought myself sth.. after buying, realised money i take out jus now was all gone.. omg.. dats d money which i planned to use for the whole week including petrol.. sad-nya.. y no one stop me when i buy things??? reli fainted...
after tired of walking, v got to stop at a shop which sells alot of soft toys.. stayed there for a vry long time.. bought sth for ourselves.
cow's key chains r mine n a tan.. d other 2 is for another 2 soh poh.. quite nice a d cow.. lik it.. haha..
AT NIGHT
all of us r reli exhausted.. tired.. sleepy+hungry.. fetch yuan back... den go kepong eat..
unfortunately, sth bad happened.. haiz.. today whole day duno y jus scare when driving.. or sitting cars.. dun lik d feeling.. tan got accident.. sienz liao lo.. haven eat den jiu sth lidat happened..where got mood o?? i'm reli sorry cos... dumped u all bhind... haiz.. bt, dat time reli alot cars.. cant stop.. reli guilty.. bt luckily, nt vry serious.. lidat oso fong sum abit.. now is reli exhausted.. tired.. hungry.. haiz... =(
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